THINGS ARE CHANGING.

It all changes.
The figure has now gone.

Lines are now under my eyes.

I am not as fit as I used to be.

I don't feel good, I feel like a wreck.

The only positive thing is my education and work.

I am trying everything I can to make a difference in the lives of people with disabilities.

Don't you know how much I love you?

I know you broke my heart but I forgive you.

It may seem as love is not the same as it used to be 2007 - 2009

Love has been blind all my life.
You may have been heard of but you won't be found.

You had the chance to carry on loving me.

It's now far too late if you want to love me again.

I have taken my freedom to love someone better than you.

Now that I have flown my wings I hope this love will be right for me but plenty more fish in the sea if not.

You can huff and puff as much as you like but you won't blow my house down.

I missed you when you had gone but not anymore, I have moved on. 1996 to 1997.

Longtime love.
I and you will now be without one another.

Three years ago we fell apart.

No other man could have been for me but you, how wrong was I to think so?

Your smiles when his face goes red.

Your laughs like the bright yellow sun.

Your brown eyes give me so much surprise.

What you don't see, to begin with, you don't know.

After a time you find out that love is blind.

You did not turn out to be the man I was hoping for.

You hurt me so much.

I still love you but you'd hurt me again if I go back to you.

I don't know why I love you so much.

I only wish I knew why I do. 27.5.99

I think I am having a breakdown.
I think I am having a breakdown I can feel someone pushing me over the edge.

Oh God help me!

There's no light at the end of the tunnel.

I am cracking up and I don't know where to turn.

I feel weak and useless for any man at all.

I don't know where to go for help.

Why is my head telling me I am going to have a breakdown?

I can't see what's ahead of me.


Is there a voice in my head telling me right or wrong?

God help me, I think I am going to die!
Can't eat!
Can't sleep!
I feel weak.

I've been down this road before, I will fight it, I will cope again.

I should not go through it again.

I have had a lot of bad luck with lots of men, I am still young and strong.

I am not getting any young but life is a fight.

Please tell me what hope there is?  1997 TO 21.2.2000

Are you blind?
Why do you want to know whether I have another man or not?

Why do you want to know whether I am in love or not?

I am not telling you.


I am not stupid, I know you still love me the way I love you.

Even if I am not in love, what makes you think I will come back to you.

I may love you but can I trust you?

If the right man comes along, I am going for it.

If I were you get back in my life quick before another man comes along, well lucky you!

I will only know whose right by whoever comes first.

Don't make life hard for me man.

You have been a naughty man.

I forgive you as a friend.

I can put it behind me now in the way you hurt me.

Now not many women can say that, think yourself a very lucky man.

You are lucky to have a second after cheating on me for another woman but you will have no more chances.

Cheer up and relax man.
Please don't ever hurt me again, that's if I ever will have you back. 2.1.2000


Please be fair to me!
Please make up your mind what you really want from me.

You make out you want me then you do.

Why did you give me a chat up line when he was there?

Why did you storm off at the bus stop when I was standing at the bus stop with him?

Why did you tell me to be careful while I was with him?

Why don't tell and show me what you really want?

I know you still feel something for me because you seemed uptight when you saw me with him. 2.1.2000

It's hard to decide.
It's hard to decide what to do we are falling out too much yet I love you too much.

I want to stay with you but enough is enough.

I am trying to make us both happy but nothing seems to work, it all seems to be getting worse.

I want a life of my own so you can have a life of your own.

I don't expect a pot of gold but a job and a bit more money in my pocket would help at least a bit.

I have been trying to make a start by going to a Job change, is that not good enough for you?

I am trying my hardest to make things better by starting my career off, it takes the time it does not happen overnight.

Apart from it been hard to get a job anyone these days, it's even harder to get a job when you have a disability like myself.

I don't expect a lot out of my social life other than to talk to friends.

Please wait as long as it takes or doesn't love me at all.

Please let me know whether you want me or not. 20.11.2005

What do you want?
You say you want to be friends then you want to be lovers.

How long is this going to keep up?

As long as it takes me to get a job, that's what it sounds like to me.

I wonder what difference me having a job would make to our relationship.

I can't go out alone without looking for you at some point due to not having enough money and my fits.

I don't enjoy this any more than you don't.

I fear to stop in my flat at night because of my fits.

I am looking for a one ground flat, then you can be out without me looking for you. 20.11.2005

It's hard to want to carry on.
We have both worked hard to get this relationship together after twelve years.

It's getting too much going on and off like a light.

I know there is not anything perfect in this world but we should not be feeling this unhappy.

I can't live with it anymore. 2005 - 2007

Friendship.

A loving friendship between a man and woman not a heavy relationship at least while getting to know one another.

Companionship is a loving feeling towards a friend when two people love one another.

They care about one another.

They worry about one another.

To give what's missing out of life without being too serious.

To love in friendship as much as if relationship.

To learn if you can trust one another in a friendship in order to have a relationship.

To love one another very much without rushing into a relationship.

For a man and woman full in love in friendship with accepting whether it turns into a relationship or not. 1997 onwards