LIFE GOES ON.

Life goes on.
The children play.
The teenagers dress up, grow up, have boyfriends, girlfriends.
Most adults become Mums, Dads, Grans, Granddads.
Going out and getting drunk.
Going to college and getting a job.

Getting old with a walking stick.
Look around the condor, life has gone.
Where has it gone?
Life and time has not gone anywhere.
What are we doing here in the first place?
Why are we here?
Who and what has bought us here?
Who knows?
Are we going to another world?
These are questions that can't be answered. 20-21.4.2004

Home for me
Home for me to bed for the night.
Home for me to feed my month, then out for the night.
Home for me to study.
Home for me to work on my computer.
How for me to draw, write poetry and short stories.22.4.2004

My nightmare.
To look in the mirror to see that I am old and gray.
To see every day of my life waste away.
To scream at seeing wrinkles on my face.
To grow old and moan like my Mother.
To turn not as good looking as I used to be.
I just want to be me, no change when I could be spending money on my health. 23.4.2004

Have I been sleeping: have I been dreaming?
I close my eyes, I hear a heavy storm.
Am I hearing, sleeping or and dreaming?
When I open my eyes, I don't feel as if I have been asleep at all.
I can't sleep until the following night.
Some nights I feel as if I have no sleep.
Other nights I feel as if I have been to sleep forever. 26-27.4.2004
It's not easy to make myself understood.
I am not the person I appear to be.
Apart of me is me because I have to be even though of me is what I want to be.
There are things in life I have a face that I don't want, If you love me you'd at least try and accept with me.

Like a lot of people, I have not much money but I still have to have a life.
I hate depending on people to help me out a lot, mostly I like to do things myself.
You don't make it easy for me, it would be nice just to get a bit of support off you complaining about, without us fall out and without us been close to spiting up.
If you are going to be so silly to let the hard times of society slit us up, well you just can't love me enough.

I get so many strange looks off people because I have a boyfriend who can't seem to understand my tough situations.
I don't want people to feel sorry for me, so stop making a fool out of me!
I hate people saying you don't buy me a drink when you do.
Please don't let society and the people in it get to you, nothing should stop us from loving one another otherwise you don't love me at all.

A lot of people tend to think I beg money off people because I don't have much money myself, that not true I find a way to get through on my own somehow.

Jobs are hard to find for anyone but if you have a disability like myself, it's even harder.

If you have fits like me and you live alone, you're frightened of not waking up.
This is the life I have to face, either loves me or don't love me but make up your mind either way!

They just things in life we can't choose to have, it's there whether we like it or not.
As human beings, we don't have to everything we say and do.
Mainly the things we don't have a choice is with the government. 22-25.7.2004

What flowers do I like?
Roses
Daffodils
Daises
Bluebells
Buttercups 26.7.2004


Life is too short to waste.
Choose what you want out of life when you get a choice.
Gap life with both hands, with a lot of things in this life you only get one chance.
Never mind the good and the bad, life is here to enjoy and make the most of however long or short it lasts.
Try not to get too stressed out with the bad things in life but enjoy the good. 29.7.2004 - 1.8.2004

Christmas.
There would be no point of Christmas without children.
If we think about it there would be no children without Christmas.
Children don't like Christmas forever because children soon grow up and learn Christmas is not like it used to be when they were children.

In the terms of Christmas in the 21st century, Christmas cost more money than it did in the 20th century so it's not as much fun for today's children than it was for yesterday's children.
There again today's children have a lot more than yesterday's children.For eg; even though I have a computer now, I did not have a computer as a child but I was still happy though.

There does not seem to be any white Christmases anymore, in fact, I can't remember when the last white Christmas was sometime in the 20th century I guess.

Christmas is just a fairy tale, you spend your childhood thinking there is Father Christmas, then you soon find out the truth when you're nearly reaching adulthood. 30.12.2004

How I hate Sundays.
I hate Sundays because the days and nights are too short.
It's even worse on dark winter nights when the days are short and the nights are long but I find Sunday short all day.

The buses either run every hour or every half an hour. 31.12.2004


In the mood to write.

I open up a page to write, then my mind goes blank.
There's either too much on my mind or nothing at all.
When I have a lot of my mind my pen writes with it, at the same time I don't find it very easy to take notice how it looks on paper.
My writing always seems to look very untidy, then I type it if I can make sense of what I have written in the first place.
I try to tidy my work up on paper after I have written it but I may support to do so because I don't always notice every mistake, which is due to my dyslexia. 31.12.2004

Understanding people with Autism.
We are not always what we look like.
We are not always what we seem like.
We may the same the wrong things through misunderstanding without meaning to anyone or anything an harm.
We feel unhappy and cross when people get unhappy and cross us because of our disability and being understood.
Sometimes we appear to be who and what we are not.
Sometimes we seem selfish but we don't mean to be.
We tend to feel down because of having to appear misunderstood it's does not make us feel as if we are having equal lives to non - disabled people.
Every person with a disability wants to teach people to understand, Autism is not the only disability that gets misunderstood lot's of people with different disabilities get misunderstood.7.1.2005


The world today.
What are we we missing in the world?
We are not missing anything.
The good things in life are very few but the world is not all black and white.
Good and bad is however you look at life in each and every way.

Mobile phones.
Computers.
The internet on computers and mobile phone.

In some ways, it may make life easy for you but in other ways, it could make life hard for you.
The internet is good for searching for information, is that good for you or does it take the old-fashioned ways of doing things?
Are we doing fewer things for ourselves than we used, maybe we end up depending on computers too much?

For eg; the spell check puts our spelling mistakes right but do we remember how spell the right word it has shown us?
It shows that old-fashioned spelling tests have gone out the window.
Mind you for years we used a book dictionary, how many of us learned the word as we found the word?
How many of us try to work out a sum before going on the calculator?
If we are not careful could on computers so much that we won't be learning anything ourselves, well could be the next generation anyway.

The internet could save us going to the library but then put the libraries out of business.
It can be good to listen to our music and could save us a lot of money in cds and that.
Save us a lot of work with pens and paper, if you make a lot of mistakes clear the screen rather than wasting loads of paper and getting through a load of pens.
Like I said it is not all good and not all bad, it can save and cause you to spend
a lot of money in many ways, mainly with all these downloads. 12.5.2005


The bad in today's life.
Today more lives turn into death through murders, rapes, muggings and many nasty things in the world today.
Illnesses are very few and in between hospitals have equipment and research they used to have.

Children are now hurting their parents and teachers.
Adults can get sent to jail if they stick for themselves.
I would not like to think of the world in the next generation because we will be having to let children do what they want to.
Thank god, I will never know how worse it's going to get.
If that is not true, is it true that dead people look down on us, if so what would they think about this generation now?

This does not mean to say there is not any good in the world today.
I just hope we are more open-minded to the world than what we were or are we too open minded, who knows!
Sometimes too much said can take respect away: not enough said nothing gets heard or and done.
Years ago it was hush or no one knew a thing.
Children were seen not heard. 13.5.2005

The good about today's world.
It's good that we can use our voice and say how we feel about life.
It's also good that we can use our voice in private as well as public.
We really need to support one another more than we ever did before, maybe we are aware of so much more.

People's problems have come to a lot more out in the open than what they were, mainly when it comes to crime, relationship breakups and other things too.
There was a time when people never knew how to talk about these things because they were never taught how to.

You carried out pictures out in your minds not knowing how to talk about, whatever happened was either not talked about or it would take a long time to be said.
Most of the time it was never understood once it was said, depending on what was said.
In the eyes of society no one knew anything, now no one knows no one because you don't know who you can trust with too much crime about.
If you spoke, you could not explain because you were seen not heard.

Doctors and nurses are more educated than they used to be or should be.
You can talk more open that you used to but we still have a long way to go.
Changing for good and bad will never stop.
We can go on forever on what's better and worse in today's world. 14.5.2005



Remember, never forget.
Never forget the hungry people in the 3rd world.
Why do we have to be reminded by reading newspapers and television?
Why can't we just remember these things in our minds, how selfish are we?
We spend too much time complaining and moaning about our own problems when there are people worse off than ourselves.
We have homes and money, these people have nothing.
They smile, we are as unhappy as if we have the whole world on top of us.
What is life all about? Who knows!
It all does not seem to make sense. 15.5.2005



Go for it!
If it moves round in your hand, draw it paint it and write about it!
If you want to do something in life, then do it, never waste your own or anyone less' time.
Tomorrow will never come unless you make it come.
Today is too long without doing anything at all.
There will be no looking back, you cannot make yesterday into today.

If it stays, draw it!
Draw it with a pencil.
Paint it with a paint brush.
That's the picture you get, that tells the tales and stories in words.

If you want to do something never waste time.
Tomorrow may never come, you sadly may well be gone.
There will be no looking back at a time that has gone past.
So go for it now!
You will never know what's round the condor.
You only live once go for it!
You may live to hear the tale. 1.6.2005



Life.
There's nothing wrong with asking one's name.
What some people say and do can be different things, including me.
We are young and stupid hoping to become older and wiser.
No I am wrong, I mean younger and wiser but it does not work that way.
The night is dark: the morning is light.
In time you will see that light at the end of the tunnel.
You can't always get what you want: good things can come to those who wait.
Never make a promise you can't keep, we are all to blame for that at some point in our lives. 11.6.2005

Breaking point problem at times.
Never take too much on that you can't cope with.
Never have nothing to do so your life won't be full filled.

There's no such word as psychology when the human brain is hard to understand.
There are no real answers to why we think like we do.
It's worse when the mind is confused and when the person does not know what to do.

If there are no heads, there are no brains.
The brain is not a word: it's just inside the mind of one's head.
It just gives one a message to tell them what to say.
As human beings, we are not clever, we just say what our brains tell us to say which normally a load of rubbish anyway. 12.6.2005

Silly sayings.
If you don't meet the light at the end of the tunnel, then climb the mountain but don't fall.
If happiness still does not go your way, built a brick wall brick by brick.
Built the wall starting from the bottom and work your way to the top.

Slowly you will get what your aiming for.
Another step is step by step.
Take one step to another until you get to the top.
Don't except it to happen over night, except to take as long as it takes. 13.6.2005


It's another world.
Make believe is fiction, make believe is not the truth.
Non - fiction is not make believe, non - fiction is the truth.
You don't get what you wish for but you can only hope for what you want.
You can't except what you want to come true.
It's better to create characters out of your head.
Base these characters on real life.
Places can be create out of real life or everything can be made up out of one's head. ( Make believe your in another world.) 14.6.2005