Tuesday, 18 December 2018

DISABILITY TALENT.

My Dyspraxia poem. 

Dyspraxia
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My mouth is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old-fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I overspend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am more can with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexia.
In a poem, I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012



My Depression poem.
27 1997. At the age of 27 1997, it was a bad year.
You broke my heart, you tore me apart.
At the age of 27 in 1997 I just wanted to go to heaven.
Life did not seem worth living, it all seemed like a dark tunnel.
The winter was dull and cold without you.
I discovered Shelly and Keats in the summer.
Without planning to I wrote poetry but when I did I knew life was worth living after all.
Once I started writing poetry it helped me clear my mixed up mind which helped me to get stronger in my mind.
That's when I learned to understand that life goes on, without writing poetry I would have broken down or and even ended my own life.
Jim Hendricks, Kurt Cobain, and Jim Morrison all suffered depression one way or the other over difference very bad times in life, they were all 27 when they died.
They were very creative people in their music but I pulled through my breakdown when I was nearly twenty - eight by discovering poetry. 13.2.2009


I grew up with words.

I grew up with words not understanding what they were all about.
Even though I still mind blind I am still inspired by the words of others so therefore I write my own lines.
I may not be the best with spelling, grammar or etc but the mind is thinking all the time.
I am not the best of remembering what I read and write either but not as bad as I was as a child. 
I am inspired by songs as well as poetry. 11.11.2016


I have not met you yet or I may not meet you at all.

It's so hard to balance not hoping and faith.
I haven't really been lucky but you don't want to hear me talking about my past but ask if me if you want to know anything!
Read my poems to know what I have faced in my life but then don't, it's time for me to move, I also try not to try too hard either.
Let's forget the past never happened, I just had nightmares and woke up.
Those nightmares taught me to still love but not to build my hopes up not to distrust either, not an easy one balance.
I am still a strong mind but emotional. 11.11.2016

Saying goodbye to you.


Saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing to do but now it's not anymore.
I am more than pleased to close the door on you for what you put me through.
If only I walked away sooner than what I did walk away from you but better late than never, I saw the light of day in the end.
In my mind, you weren't real but I thought you were at the time, then I realized you were a complete nightmare, which I took so long to wake up to see the light of day.
Hang on, it was just a mean dream that wasn't as it seemed.
Can't believed I spent 13 and half years of my life or more in a dream of someone who isn't real.
Real you may be but I just don't want to think about you, just go away.
You're out of my life to get out of my head, your nightmare of a man!
You may have given me pain but then it's no pain just a complete nightmare but all the same, you gave me talent.  
I just hope what I have faced with you has made me a wiser person. 11.11.2016


I don't know how long I can cope with this.

Sorry, I feel this way about you, meaning it's just my luck you don't feel the same way but it will blow over one day.
I didn't know how long I could keep it to myself, I didn't think could bring myself to come out with it at all. 
It's been killing me and emotions to keep it to myself and tell you.
All the same, I respect and accept what you say, words can't always go my way.
I know I need to come with my feelings better than I do.
Somehow, some way or and someday I will get through.
Please don't me get in the way to spoil a great friendship between us. 
To be honest, the unknown has been killing me, I have kept my thoughts and feelings to myself till now.
I have been such a coward to come out with it till now.
I understand not everything can run my way.
As mad as it sounds it feels rather embarrassing.
I feel in my late 40s I should know better. 30.5.2016




It's just too much to keep quiet any longer.

I know I have only known you a few months but it feels like I have known you a lifetime.
I have tried to not feel this way about you but you are driving my mind mad.
I will never force you into what you don't want, I don't expect you to feel the same for me as I do for you.
I have tried so hard to not feel this strong but it feels impossible.
I need to keep my feelings under control.
To be honest the unknown has been killing me.
I have too much respect for you to try and get my own way.
I was afraid of how you would react is why I took so long to tell you.
Maybe writing tons of pages of poetry about you may help me get over you. 30.5.2016


I can't make you like me in the way I like you.

I have been talking to you for quite a few months.
You have been driving me out of my mind.
I can handily cope with my emotions inside.
I know I can't make you feel the same way.
Just give me time to not feel this way anymore!
I will keep my thoughts to myself from now on.
I can't force you to feel in a way you don't feel.
I was afraid of you not feeling the same way but then I just came out with it.
Either way, I don't think I done myself any favors. 30.5.2016
https://sararevealed.blogspot.com/2016/12/blog-poetry.html

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