MORE WORDS TO WRITE

Special bond.

The first day I saw you I didn't know who you were.

I was in another world that wasn't very nice through a broken heart.

Little did I know we would be talking to each other?

Even when we first spoke I felt such a special bond.

We didn’t know what got together and what we would get together.

In time I found myself liking more.

This is a special bond for both of us.

Time apart does us good even though we miss each every day. 4.6.2012

If it’s meant to be it will be.

If it’s meant to be it will be.

It’s no good making something meant to be if it’s not to be if you know what I mean.

Say goodbye to the bad memories but think of the good.

There’s no perfect love that isn’t meant to be.

Not always what you want it to be what we need to face is the truth.

Just remember there’s no bed of roses that you will be lying in all the while. 1997 – 5.6.2012

I remember when our love ended.

Our love ended like a piece of paper bending.

It was a dream that turned into a nightmare.

You were playing games with my mind.

You never knew what you wanted all the time.

I told you to have her because she you said is who you wanted.

You wanted her all the time, why go with her if you didn’t?

You must have been out of your mind all that time.

I so much wanted you to stay with me but I am not who you wanted.

Every day I could see our love dyeing like a river running dry.

When our love died I cried like a river day and night.

Things got better in the summer when I started writing poetry, which helped better than crying.

I may have been sad.

I may have been blue.

I knew I really truly loved.

You made me happy and you made sad. 1997 -5.6.2012

Forever friends.

Forever friends with love.
Never hope for too much.
I'm here as long as you want me.
I will cope without seeing as long as I have to.
I will be faithful, loyal and true to you. 12.2.2012

   

MOVING FORWARD

Love teaches you as many things as life does.

     The mistakes I have made have got far too close to you all those years.
The person I loved so much who I thought loved me so much.
I used to find it to be without you now I can't stand to be in the same room as you.
Now I have learned to be myself again.
I don't give up on my life to please you or anyone anymore.
I spend so many years living your life instead of my own.
Little did I realize how blind I was.
I know no one asks you to live some one's life but love can be so hard to control when the feelings are there for someone
Now we have gone from love to like to hate.
I will try my best to not make the same mistake again. 12.2.2012

You kept on changing your mind.

       Your mind games stopped me from loving you after I loved you for so long.
One minute you wanted me next minute you did not, I took that for far too many years.
As the years went on you only seemed to have wanted me when you were drunk.
The next night you were telling me that you didn't mean what you said the night before.
I was sick of you building my hopes up.
I loved you so much but you hurt me too much to love you anymore.
If I still loved you now you would have played with my mind like you did before, you wouldn't have loved me at all.
You just love me because you know I don't love you anymore.
You have treated me as your victim, not your lover all the years you were with me I was too blind to see.
All these years your feelings have changed far quickly when I think you never have loved me, you just played games with my mind.

You don't hurt me like you used to because I don't love you no more.
It hurt me too bad to know that the man I loved so much hurt me so much because you didn't love me as much as I thought, in fact, I don't think you ever loved me at all.
No way do I fall for your games anymore because I don't love anymore.
It's far too late for you to change your mind now.
You said that you love me and the drink isn't talking, I don't fall for that anymore.
I don't go along with your change of feelings anymore.
 My feelings for you stayed the same for years then they change three years ago so they will stay the same forever.
I have now moved on with my life in my own time, I don't need you anymore.
Why did I ever love you, I should have known I didn't need you? 3.3.2012

Now I can see through you.

You may not have loved me as much as I loved you.
How blind was I to love you?
You may not have loved me at all.
You may have strung me along all these years.
We were both very young.
I may have been too blind to see that your love towards me may have been a lie.

 You know I had friends who could see I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
These friends knew how much I really loved you.
This relationship may have been to please them and keep them quite not to please me.
My friends warned me so many times that you were the wrong man for me.
 I was far too blind to see.
I was too much in love with you to know what I was letting myself in for.
In the end, you hurt me badly.
As years went on I learned to stop loving you, I even tried to be your friend but then the friendship turned to hate. 12.2.2012

I’m unknown to what did or didn’t go on.

Texts you send and got back while you had your arm around me.
Only trying to love me when you were drunk.
After I wasted 13 and half years with you I don’t my hopes up with anyone.
Telling me the next day that you did not mean a word you said to me the night before.
 In the end, I heard the word sorry too many times to carry on loving you.
I knew if I carried on any longer you weren't going to change, you would just carry hurting me then saying.
You keep on saying sorry but then you still keep hurting me.
This relationship was based on a drunk lie.

     I can't believe I was so mad to love someone whose love was based on lies.
I guess I won't be the first and I won't be the last to put myself in that trap.
Now I am out of that trap moving on with my life. 1Unknown

I look at you know how I feel about you and how you feel about me.
Not be able to say a word in front of anyone.
Only you and I know.
The end of the night is unknown to whether we spend private time together.
Now time isn't there, I miss you twice as much.
When time is there I enjoy however long or short it lasts. 12.2.2012 

What is life like now?
I am sitting in my living room looking through my window; the sky is half blue and half white.
It's an early Monday afternoon but it is a Bank holiday that does not feel like a Bank holiday.
There's hardly anyone about outside.
How strange is that?
You may say why don't you get out?
I will tonight.
I have hardly anyone with any money to spend.
I am not asking for the world but it would be nice to have a little bit more money in my pocket.
Jobs are not easy to find these days.
There are far too many people unemployed, which cause people to go through depression.
No spaces, not enough exams, too many exams, not enough training, too much training, age, disability, place closing down and many more reasons. December 2006