I know it's all over.
There's no such thing as the last kiss.
You did not seem to care whether I went or not.
You did not seem to care whether you never saw me again or not.
If only I did not care or loved you either.
You never let me know whether you were happy or sad to see me again.
Are you human, are you real or have I been having a strange dream all these years?
I just don't know why I am bothering coming back as there is nothing there for me.
I did not want to go or stay.
You don't love me so why am I here?
It does not feel that way.
Why am I hanging around where I am not wanted?
You are just a hard habit to break.
The worse thing is that you are unsure how you feel.
That does not help my feelings at all.
You have not done yourself any favors.
You have lied to yourself and to me.
Why do you have to leave to me to find out what's going through your mind?
How can I help I am not a mind reader?
Without yourself knowing it, you have hurt the one you love yet again.
Oh, I forgot you don't know whether you love me or not.
It's hard to say what you want because you either won't tell me or you give me different answers.
It does not make it very easy for me to know whether I should stay or go.
My mind tells me that leaving you is the right thing to do but my heart is saying no.
If you feel the same as I do, please send me a letter, text or a call.
Please ask people we know in pubs if they have seen me.
Don't know why I bothered saying that, I have had enough of been messed around.
I am leaving you one day when I feel strong enough to.
Don't rush into thinking about it too hard Ant it may take forever.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, I just hope the next one knows what he wants in life.
I will get away from this confused man one day, I hope will find someone someday who knows his own mind.
Ant, if you don't know what you want after nearly fourteen years, you never will.
Who knows I may never bother with men again but I know I will. Jan08 - Feb 09
I have been such a fool.
Whatever kind person you are I have loved you for fifteen years.
I still feel the same to this day but I very soon hope that those feelings will go away.
I can accept friendship but the more I see you the more I love you, you hurt me more because I know you don't feel the same way.
Sometimes you pretend to love me to keep me happy then you tell me you don't to make me sad.
May be you do know what you want but you play me around to hurt me.
As for you, you don't know how you feel towards me so how am I to know?
This is two possible guesses, if only I was a mind reader.
We have been through so many ups and downs together over the years but somehow I am still here for you even though we are just friends.
I have wasted so much time crying, days thinking about you and losing sleep over you.
The headaches and heartaches are just too much, I can't say I know when but I think I will go one day, I have had enough.
I don't know why I hang around anymore, it feels as if you don't feel the same way anymore.
Maybe you did not feel the way I thought you did.
I must be a complete fool, I am so in love with you it hurts.
I have tried so hard to love others but it did not work.
Many people have thought I had been a fool to put up with you all these years, maybe they are right.
I don't know what else to do if I am not wanted in your life anymore.
Maybe one day I will be strong enough walk away from you like you walked away from me. Jan 08 - Feb 09
What's a matter with you?
You look at me.
I look at you.
I tried to think what to do because I know you don't know what you want to do.
The problem is that I love you but you are acting as if you don't love me.
Yes, it's true no matter what I say and do you seem so blue, you are making me feel that way too.
Follow you, heart, then you may know what you want in life.
No more tears, fear and everything will be clear.
You will find your mind, you're always on my mind.
I love you,
do you love me.
Our love is meant to be.
You don't very often anymore give me a hug.
What's wrong with our love?
People must think I am mad loving you after what you put me through.
How many times do I have to say I love you.
Why don't you tell me how you feel?
Why look so blue?
Over the years I have traveled to see you whatever the weather to be with you.
Rain, hail, wind, sun, and snow I love to see you.
If you love me to show love. 2003 - 2006
Is life that bad?
Do you feel sad when it rains on the window pane?
On rainy days do you see me sad?
Does it make you sad?
When the clouds are black and gray that is a rainy day.
When the sky is blue, it's a yellow sunny day we should be in a happy way but we may well be sad inside ourselves.
Now that I have heard what go through your head now listen to what goes through my head.
You never go away, I never stop thinking about you.
The way you were makes me feel happy, the way you now make me feel sad. 1.6.2004
Cheer up.
Let's go out together under the shade today.
Let's talk it through.
Let's be ourselves and do what we want.
Now tell me what is really going on.
Tell me what is going to happen between us.
I love you from the bottom of my heart I hope we will never part.
The sun is shining in the sky to give us romance.
Give me passion, desire and set me on fire. 2003 - 2006
Starting again.
I love you and need you.
I just hope you still feel the same way.
I want to know that it lasts between us, I am fed up of making mistakes.
Let's learn from what we did wrong in the past.
Let's not rush into it so fast.
Forget the past.
Move on to the future.
Lets stop wasting time!
It's time to make up our minds.
If you don't know your own mind at thirty - five you may not have much time.
We must learn to be one and two of the kind. 2003 - 2006.
It was me.
I looked alright but I did not feel alright.
I have always had the parts of my body I need.
My mind was blank all through childhood due to the heavy dose of tablets.
I could not cope with my school work but I coped with my college work better.
School teachers thought I was lazy.
I was also bullied.
When I got home at night, I felt the school was a waste of time.
It seemed as If I was never liked in school.
Everything I said and done was wrong, I felt as if I could not please anyone not even myself. 2000 onwards.
Think about.
Think about the good and bad in this world.
Drugs bring shame to this world, which causes people to create crime.
The greatest thing in the world is love that brings the best to us all.
Love can support one another through the bad times in life.
Love is not just through a partner but family and friends but in different ways.
You can't have good news all the while but there's too much bad news in the world today.
Why do we moan?
What do we moan about?
Do we stop to think about that there is always a lot of people worse off than ourselves?
The kind of people who have nothing to wear, eat and nowhere to sleep.
Why are we sad when we know we have families, friends, and homes?
Why are the worse off people more happy than us? 30.12.2003
Anger.
There's nothing more than help you get your feelings out, even though anger is not nice.
It does not do for you to bottle things inside yourself.
Now over the years, I have accepted the skills I can't manage the anger gets less and less.
It's upsetting when you can't cope with things.
You feel as if no one understands you, I am not sure whether people understand me now.
I don't think I will ever understand myself, I don't think I ever will.
That's why your a child with a broken heart. 2000 onwards
I love you but you hurt me so.
Every day for four years, it all seemed dull and dark.
I found it so hard to move on.
I cried my eyes out when you left me.
I remember the day you met me.
I hope you won't leave me, anyone, if you do I am out the door.
I won't ever come back anymore.
So don't give me a call.
I'll miss you again but I will have to stop myself from getting hurt.
I hope one day I will met someone who loves me for me and doesn't hurt me. 2001 onwards.
You were there, you'd gone, now you have come back.
We were far too young, we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and a year was long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long, we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002
I never felt the same without you.
Walking around the town getting bored out of my head.
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, you broke my heart so much.
I told your Mum that I would have stop coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let a lone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going be on and off until things go bang!
Your Mum told me not to let you get to me, even though you were biting my head off.
At the time I was going out of my mind I could not stand to be alive.
I think I had a very bad break down, you have gone off with her hurt me so much.
I must be mad to have you back but I love you so much.
I should not go back to you really but I love you too much not to.
Slowly I knew you will hurt me and break my heart again.
Me and your family tried to tell you, you going with her was a big mistake but you knew it all, you would not listen.
When you saw me, you had no interest in me what so ever.
When I walked out of your Mum's door I felt so small.
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, it's only love that has bought me back to you!
What goes around comes around, I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002
I thought you had gone for good.
I thought about you all the time as tears came down my eyes.
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002
When we were lovers.
The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you; at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
When I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of the jigsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out of my life too?
Why do I have a feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels; it's as if you are in the dark.
It feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course, I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them are you?
There's no such thing as the last kiss.
You did not seem to care whether I went or not.
You did not seem to care whether you never saw me again or not.
If only I did not care or loved you either.
You never let me know whether you were happy or sad to see me again.
Are you human, are you real or have I been having a strange dream all these years?
I just don't know why I am bothering coming back as there is nothing there for me.
I did not want to go or stay.
You don't love me so why am I here?
It does not feel that way.
Why am I hanging around where I am not wanted?
You are just a hard habit to break.
The worse thing is that you are unsure how you feel.
That does not help my feelings at all.
You have not done yourself any favors.
You have lied to yourself and to me.
Why do you have to leave to me to find out what's going through your mind?
How can I help I am not a mind reader?
Without yourself knowing it, you have hurt the one you love yet again.
Oh, I forgot you don't know whether you love me or not.
It's hard to say what you want because you either won't tell me or you give me different answers.
It does not make it very easy for me to know whether I should stay or go.
My mind tells me that leaving you is the right thing to do but my heart is saying no.
If you feel the same as I do, please send me a letter, text or a call.
Please ask people we know in pubs if they have seen me.
Don't know why I bothered saying that, I have had enough of been messed around.
I am leaving you one day when I feel strong enough to.
Don't rush into thinking about it too hard Ant it may take forever.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, I just hope the next one knows what he wants in life.
I will get away from this confused man one day, I hope will find someone someday who knows his own mind.
Ant, if you don't know what you want after nearly fourteen years, you never will.
Who knows I may never bother with men again but I know I will. Jan08 - Feb 09
I have been such a fool.
Whatever kind person you are I have loved you for fifteen years.
I still feel the same to this day but I very soon hope that those feelings will go away.
I can accept friendship but the more I see you the more I love you, you hurt me more because I know you don't feel the same way.
Sometimes you pretend to love me to keep me happy then you tell me you don't to make me sad.
May be you do know what you want but you play me around to hurt me.
As for you, you don't know how you feel towards me so how am I to know?
This is two possible guesses, if only I was a mind reader.
We have been through so many ups and downs together over the years but somehow I am still here for you even though we are just friends.
I have wasted so much time crying, days thinking about you and losing sleep over you.
The headaches and heartaches are just too much, I can't say I know when but I think I will go one day, I have had enough.
I don't know why I hang around anymore, it feels as if you don't feel the same way anymore.
Maybe you did not feel the way I thought you did.
I must be a complete fool, I am so in love with you it hurts.
I have tried so hard to love others but it did not work.
Many people have thought I had been a fool to put up with you all these years, maybe they are right.
I don't know what else to do if I am not wanted in your life anymore.
Maybe one day I will be strong enough walk away from you like you walked away from me. Jan 08 - Feb 09
What's a matter with you?
You look at me.
I look at you.
I tried to think what to do because I know you don't know what you want to do.
The problem is that I love you but you are acting as if you don't love me.
Yes, it's true no matter what I say and do you seem so blue, you are making me feel that way too.
Follow you, heart, then you may know what you want in life.
No more tears, fear and everything will be clear.
You will find your mind, you're always on my mind.
I love you,
do you love me.
Our love is meant to be.
You don't very often anymore give me a hug.
What's wrong with our love?
People must think I am mad loving you after what you put me through.
How many times do I have to say I love you.
Why don't you tell me how you feel?
Why look so blue?
Over the years I have traveled to see you whatever the weather to be with you.
Rain, hail, wind, sun, and snow I love to see you.
If you love me to show love. 2003 - 2006
Is life that bad?
Do you feel sad when it rains on the window pane?
On rainy days do you see me sad?
Does it make you sad?
When the clouds are black and gray that is a rainy day.
When the sky is blue, it's a yellow sunny day we should be in a happy way but we may well be sad inside ourselves.
Now that I have heard what go through your head now listen to what goes through my head.
You never go away, I never stop thinking about you.
The way you were makes me feel happy, the way you now make me feel sad. 1.6.2004
Cheer up.
Let's go out together under the shade today.
Let's talk it through.
Let's be ourselves and do what we want.
Now tell me what is really going on.
Tell me what is going to happen between us.
I love you from the bottom of my heart I hope we will never part.
The sun is shining in the sky to give us romance.
Give me passion, desire and set me on fire. 2003 - 2006
Starting again.
I love you and need you.
I just hope you still feel the same way.
I want to know that it lasts between us, I am fed up of making mistakes.
Let's learn from what we did wrong in the past.
Let's not rush into it so fast.
Forget the past.
Move on to the future.
Lets stop wasting time!
It's time to make up our minds.
If you don't know your own mind at thirty - five you may not have much time.
We must learn to be one and two of the kind. 2003 - 2006.
It was me.
I looked alright but I did not feel alright.
I have always had the parts of my body I need.
My mind was blank all through childhood due to the heavy dose of tablets.
I could not cope with my school work but I coped with my college work better.
School teachers thought I was lazy.
I was also bullied.
When I got home at night, I felt the school was a waste of time.
It seemed as If I was never liked in school.
Everything I said and done was wrong, I felt as if I could not please anyone not even myself. 2000 onwards.
Think about.
Think about the good and bad in this world.
Drugs bring shame to this world, which causes people to create crime.
The greatest thing in the world is love that brings the best to us all.
Love can support one another through the bad times in life.
Love is not just through a partner but family and friends but in different ways.
You can't have good news all the while but there's too much bad news in the world today.
Why do we moan?
What do we moan about?
Do we stop to think about that there is always a lot of people worse off than ourselves?
The kind of people who have nothing to wear, eat and nowhere to sleep.
Why are we sad when we know we have families, friends, and homes?
Why are the worse off people more happy than us? 30.12.2003
Anger.
There's nothing more than help you get your feelings out, even though anger is not nice.
It does not do for you to bottle things inside yourself.
Now over the years, I have accepted the skills I can't manage the anger gets less and less.
It's upsetting when you can't cope with things.
You feel as if no one understands you, I am not sure whether people understand me now.
I don't think I will ever understand myself, I don't think I ever will.
That's why your a child with a broken heart. 2000 onwards
I love you but you hurt me so.
Every day for four years, it all seemed dull and dark.
I found it so hard to move on.
I cried my eyes out when you left me.
I remember the day you met me.
I hope you won't leave me, anyone, if you do I am out the door.
I won't ever come back anymore.
So don't give me a call.
I'll miss you again but I will have to stop myself from getting hurt.
I hope one day I will met someone who loves me for me and doesn't hurt me. 2001 onwards.
You were there, you'd gone, now you have come back.
We were far too young, we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and a year was long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long, we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002
I never felt the same without you.
Walking around the town getting bored out of my head.
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, you broke my heart so much.
I told your Mum that I would have stop coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let a lone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going be on and off until things go bang!
Your Mum told me not to let you get to me, even though you were biting my head off.
At the time I was going out of my mind I could not stand to be alive.
I think I had a very bad break down, you have gone off with her hurt me so much.
I must be mad to have you back but I love you so much.
I should not go back to you really but I love you too much not to.
Slowly I knew you will hurt me and break my heart again.
Me and your family tried to tell you, you going with her was a big mistake but you knew it all, you would not listen.
When you saw me, you had no interest in me what so ever.
When I walked out of your Mum's door I felt so small.
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, it's only love that has bought me back to you!
What goes around comes around, I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002
I thought you had gone for good.
I thought about you all the time as tears came down my eyes.
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002
When we were lovers.
What a kind sweet gentleman he used to be.
Whatever has happened to us?
He was full of love, happiness and joy to be.
He used to be a lovely gentleman and boy.
He still has lovely brown eyes.
People think he has lost his mind.
People think he's gone blind.
Now that I have lost him, I am very wary who I find.
What if they don't replace the love I lost?
Where's the man's voice that made me laugh?
Where's his handsome face that made me smile?
Where's the touch of his arms?
Where's the touch of his charm?
Where's the man who walked me home in the dark and the rain.
Where's the man I'd dreamt about in my sleep without a doubt.
Where's the man who beauty me every time he looked at me. Written 1997
Whatever has happened to us?
He was full of love, happiness and joy to be.
He used to be a lovely gentleman and boy.
He still has lovely brown eyes.
People think he has lost his mind.
People think he's gone blind.
Now that I have lost him, I am very wary who I find.
What if they don't replace the love I lost?
Where's the man's voice that made me laugh?
Where's his handsome face that made me smile?
Where's the touch of his arms?
Where's the touch of his charm?
Where's the man who walked me home in the dark and the rain.
Where's the man I'd dreamt about in my sleep without a doubt.
Where's the man who beauty me every time he looked at me. Written 1997
What do you want from me?
One minute you want me and the next minute you don't.
Make up your mind, love is not a mind game!
You will go ages without touching me then you suddenly do.
I know who I want but if you don't want me, I'd be a foal to wait forever.
Think about it, there's no going back once it's too late, who says I says I am going to be soft forever, I don't know?
If I did not love you so much it would not bother me.
The fact you know I love you, you know you can play on my mind.
You are confused so you are confusing me at the same time.
Make up your mind, love is not a mind game!
You will go ages without touching me then you suddenly do.
I know who I want but if you don't want me, I'd be a foal to wait forever.
Think about it, there's no going back once it's too late, who says I says I am going to be soft forever, I don't know?
If I did not love you so much it would not bother me.
The fact you know I love you, you know you can play on my mind.
You are confused so you are confusing me at the same time.
You will my life worse for yourself in the end!
Why do you only touch me these days when you have had a drink?
The day after drinking I know you don't feel the same.
Please stick to one answer and please tell me what that answer is!
Why am I waiting for you, I'm wasting my time like a soft fool when I could be doing better?
There must be someone out there who loves me better than you, I must be a fool to myself I really must be.2009
Why do you only touch me these days when you have had a drink?
The day after drinking I know you don't feel the same.
Please stick to one answer and please tell me what that answer is!
Why am I waiting for you, I'm wasting my time like a soft fool when I could be doing better?
There must be someone out there who loves me better than you, I must be a fool to myself I really must be.2009
Trying to control feelings.
It's so hard to close door once you have loved someone for so long.
Why did I let it go too far?
Why did I hold onto you so tight, now I find it so hard to let go?
Why do I still love you after what you put me through?
Take my advice people; try not to full in love too deep, you can't get out once you get in.
If you let it like I did, love can be a habit and a drug as Bryan Ferry sang in one of his songs.
Well, I should say don't fall in love too easy!
If only I knew what makes me feel strongly in love with you.
Why do I still feel this strongly in love with you?
I only wish I knew.
If only I knew 15 yrs ago what I know now.
Don't give too many chances because it gets harder as time goes on!
We must have hurt one another a thousand times but you have seemed to have stopped loving me but why haven't I stopped loving you?
If only I listened to people.
Why did I let it go too far?
Why did I hold onto you so tight, now I find it so hard to let go?
Why do I still love you after what you put me through?
Take my advice people; try not to full in love too deep, you can't get out once you get in.
If you let it like I did, love can be a habit and a drug as Bryan Ferry sang in one of his songs.
Well, I should say don't fall in love too easy!
If only I knew what makes me feel strongly in love with you.
Why do I still feel this strongly in love with you?
I only wish I knew.
If only I knew 15 yrs ago what I know now.
Don't give too many chances because it gets harder as time goes on!
We must have hurt one another a thousand times but you have seemed to have stopped loving me but why haven't I stopped loving you?
If only I listened to people.
What am I on about? I still haven't learned.
I've been so soft and I am still soft today, I wonder if I will change at 40 which are not far away, scary eh?
I've been so soft and I am still soft today, I wonder if I will change at 40 which are not far away, scary eh?
Never let love take over your life, I wish I never did.
Please, people, don't make the same mistake as me!
I will need friendship to get to know someone before I love again.
After knowing the same guy for fifteen yrs, getting to know someone new will take some getting used to that's if that ever happens again.
Please, people, don't make the same mistake as me!
I will need friendship to get to know someone before I love again.
After knowing the same guy for fifteen yrs, getting to know someone new will take some getting used to that's if that ever happens again.
Is my life over if it does not happen before 40? No, my life has not ended.
Does life begin at the 40?
The answer, I will tell you when I get to 40 which are only in roughly 6 to 8 months time.
Positive thinking it's never too late for anything.
My life won't be over but it might begin.
My relationship may have ended but I think my career only began 2 yrs ago.
Never say never, it may be a long time happening but I believe it will happen.
My career took long enough.
Make the most of life because it's too short living but forever dead. 2009
Does life begin at the 40?
The answer, I will tell you when I get to 40 which are only in roughly 6 to 8 months time.
Positive thinking it's never too late for anything.
My life won't be over but it might begin.
My relationship may have ended but I think my career only began 2 yrs ago.
Never say never, it may be a long time happening but I believe it will happen.
My career took long enough.
Make the most of life because it's too short living but forever dead. 2009
T'S NOT EASY.
It's not easy for a woman to tell a man how she really feels for him, when she really loves him, mainly when they have been lovers then friends for too many years.
I have known you far too long that it feels as my heart belongs to you, even though we are just friends.
I have tried so hard to move on, change my life and love someone else but my feelings for you are far too strong.
It would seem so unfair to try and love someone else now when I am so in love with you.
I am still trying hard to live a life of my own in hopes one day I will finally come terms with how you feel instead of just me. ( Like Speed Dating for eg. )
I don't find it easy to walk away from you and not come back; you know I have tried that before.
I'm totally and utterly crazy about you.
I love you so much don't you ever forget it!
I don't have to say anything else, do I?
I have tried so hard to stop loving you but I am so sorry I haven't succeeded in changing my feelings for you.
I'm sorry I don't know how to let my love go for you. 2009
I have known you far too long that it feels as my heart belongs to you, even though we are just friends.
I have tried so hard to move on, change my life and love someone else but my feelings for you are far too strong.
It would seem so unfair to try and love someone else now when I am so in love with you.
I am still trying hard to live a life of my own in hopes one day I will finally come terms with how you feel instead of just me. ( Like Speed Dating for eg. )
I don't find it easy to walk away from you and not come back; you know I have tried that before.
I'm totally and utterly crazy about you.
I love you so much don't you ever forget it!
I don't have to say anything else, do I?
I have tried so hard to stop loving you but I am so sorry I haven't succeeded in changing my feelings for you.
I'm sorry I don't know how to let my love go for you. 2009
NO ONE KNOWS ANYONE.
You made me be in this world.The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you; at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
When I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of the jigsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out of my life too?
Why do I have a feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels; it's as if you are in the dark.
It feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course, I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them are you?
Don't you realize what you have done and how it has affected our minds?
The past doesn't matter; I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half-brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
Why do I feel like the useless big half-sister?
No one knows anyone, it's all a mystery. 2008
The past doesn't matter; I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half-brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
Why do I feel like the useless big half-sister?
No one knows anyone, it's all a mystery. 2008
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