Time to move on.
Now that you have gone for good the days and nights seem longer than before we parted.
Even though we spend little time together when we were together, it's as if a big part of my life is missing, I'm missing you a lot more.
Although I will see you again someday as just friends this will take some getting used to, it won't be the same as before.
It's good to know that there was no lieing, falling out and cheating.
Don't worry it's not a lot different than it was before after all, your secret is still safe with me, just the same as it was when we were together.
I need to write poetry to keep myself stable and help myself to move on.
I need to accept what you want.
I don't regret a single minute of the time we spend together.
I understand why it had to end but I wouldn't lie to say I would love to go back to where it was again. 30.10.2012
You turn on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
One minute your mind is rain then it shines.
I never know how long your mine,
If I take any more of your change of mind, I will blow the fuse and go out of my mind.
You change like the weather winter, summer and spring.
If the water catches wires it will pull out the fire.
If I let you carry on, I will blow a storm that will rise to fire, 30.10.2012
Winter is coming.
The winter is coming; the cold is coming without you.
Dark mornings and dark nights as the cold frost bites into the morning light.
The days are shorter and the nights are long without you.
Six months of winter go on forever after the clocks go back.
Time seems late than what it is because winter is so dark.
The cold is longer without you. 30.10.2012
Moving forward.
The door has closed but it's too cold yet for other doors to open.
It doesn't seem as if there are any more doors to open as I have walked through them all.
If there'any more doors to open they will open in the spring ready for the summer.
Walk into Autumn doors will close for winter.
The future is an unknown world. 30.10.2012
The stormy sea.
The boats are sinking as the tide goes in and out as people shout floating about.
Most people dream of living near the sea you see.
The sea can be a nightmare as well as a dream you see.
It's not all it cuts out to be you see.
Furniture damage, power cuts and electrically going on and off.
As the sea stops rushing it will calm down in time.
The boats will peacefully float.
The sunset will rise as it shines surfing, slipping and sliding. 30.10.2012
Washing machine.
It seems as if the world is a big wash out.
The washing machine seemed to be going on forever.
The timer was only set for 30 minutes, as it went on longer.
It stooped just before I went to the shops.
The door took ages to open as the water came out like a shower onto the floor.
I grabbed anything I could to soak up the water quick as I could.
Strangely when I saw the news the same day, the Americans were up to their necks of Super Storm Sandy.
The stormy sea causing damage to homes, power cuts, electrically going on and off.
Anything, everything and everyone in sight the storm will fright to fight. 30.10.2012
Don't think because I'm alone.
Only because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm free to love anyone for a long time.
As far your mind works, I'm not a free woman because you don't know I'm single.
I want to move forward not back in my life.
I don't need you to mess my head around anymore.
Now I'm staying away from you.
Don't think because I'm alone that I'm coming back into your life because I'm not.
I will make sure that you don't know whether I'm single or not.
I'm keeping away from you so you don't get your chance to love me to hurt me again.
Love, you don't even know what the word love means.
Maybe I am lonely but it's better than being with you to hurt me all over again like you have so many times before.
How many chances do you want?
If you think I am wasting the rest of my life on you, then the news is bad for you.
I'm not giving you any more chances for you to love me to hurt me again.
I find it hard to forgive and forget what you did to me.
Why should I forgive you at all?
I used to find it hard to stop loving now I find it hard to love again.
Why would I try to love you again after what you put me through?
Now I just have no trust in you yet once I believed in you so much.
I should never have gone back to you, I should have known better than giving you another chance.
may well now be single, which could be for a long time but not forever, I believe I will meet someone better than you one day.
The longer I am single the more he will be worth the wait as well as the date.
I don't want to love you for you to hurt me again.
You confused my mind and messed with my head with your silly mind games not knowing whether you wanted me or not.
I want someone who knows what and who he wants.
Now you have lost your chance to love me again.
You knew I used to love you so much that you played with the head.
After losing you it took a long time to get my life back together again.
Little did I realize that I was better off without you, how blind was I?
Every day I used to hope that you'd change but you just got worse.
Just because I'm alone it doesn't mean you can touch me because I feel nothing for you.
Nothing at all.
You may laugh now because I'm alone, it may be a long time but I'm more than willing to get back on my feet again so I won't be alone forever.
You don't break me anymore.
I have got my life back together before, I will do it again.
I feel nothing for you anymore.
You never loved me and cared for me as much as I did for you.
You didn't love me as much as I thought you did.
You didn't love me at all.
I can't believe I loved a man for 13 and a half years on and off who didn't love me.
Our relationship was based on you lying about your feelings towards me.
I was too blind to disbelieve you.
Time to move on.
It's time for me to stop turning up on your doorstep. 5.11.2012 -
18.11.2012
Why did you?
Why did you play with my mind?
Why did you make me cry?
You knew I told you I loved you that's why.
Now things have turned the other way round.
The only difference is that I mean what I say.
I don't feel the same towards you like I used to.
Your loss you never loved me when I did love you.
You only pretend to love me to keep me happy.
I can't believe I lived 13 and a half years with a lie.
Why should I care how you feel anymore because you never cared about my feelings when I had feelings for you. 9.12.12
Finding it hard to trust you.
I shouldn't have trusted you from the start.
I'm so glad I didn't marry you.
Even now I'm not sure whether or not you were cheating on me.
Even now it's hard to say whether or not you were unfaithful.
What makes me think this is that you were texting a lot in front of me and getting texts back.
You made me feel very stressed and very uncomfortable that's why I won't have you back.
I kept on thinking this was a bad dream.
I may be wrong in what I did think but the texts you sent and the texts you had back went on far too long because I loved you so much. 13.12.12
Scared of getting old and alone.
Maybe I shouldn't be scared of being old and alone.
Maybe I should be strong enough to take the not to love again.
Maybe the pain from others has made me stronger.
I must be weak to be scared to be old and alone.
Yet I'm ashamed to be weak. 23.12.12
Poetry, Anxiety, and depression.
It's poetry that helps me accept life as it is.
As long as I keep my mind busy.
As long as I live my life busy.
Like us all as long as I have something to look forward to I can cope with life.
I am down if I have nothing at all.
I can't fight Anxiety and depression without poetry.
I can't cope in life with nothing.
I get sad and angry if I sit all the time bored.
Helping others helps me along.
Poetry helps me let out my thoughts. 29.12.12
Without poetry.
Without poetry, life would be more painful than what it is.
Without poetry, I would look and feel silly for being down for no reason.
Poetry makes life as less as bad as what it is.
Poetry makes me see life different to what I'd be without poetry.
Without poetry I would never feel good about myself, I would be angerly about myself.
When seeing the good in yourself you see the good in others.
Life is what you make it in one way but not in another.
Each and every one of us I believe have something inside us.
We just cope with good and bad in life in different ways.
Most of us think thoughts too much, this where poetry comes in.
I'm a person who has a lot of thoughts which have for many years put into poetry.
Without poetry, I would have held too much back. 29.12.12
When I feel anger.
When I feel anger I don't want to live.
When I feel anger I feel stress and tense.
There are too many thoughts going through my head to a point I want to write poetry.
I need to stop myself from getting angry and depression mainly when it's for no reason but sometimes there are reasons.
I need to stop myself from doing and say things I regret. 29.12.12
The Mind.
This is unknown to think what we are going to think.
Unknown to why we think what we think when we think.
Most thoughts seem odd to others yet unknown why to the person who thinks those those thoughts.
Yet many thoughts seem odd to the person whose thought them in time to come.
Thoughts can be unknown like feelings can be unknown.
Some thoughts and feelings may last for life others may only last for a certein amount of time which either be short or long.
The thoughts we think can't please everyone.
What a boring world it would be if we were right and good all the time.
Not everyone is bad all the time even though a lot of us think we are. 29.12.12
Now that you have gone for good the days and nights seem longer than before we parted.
Even though we spend little time together when we were together, it's as if a big part of my life is missing, I'm missing you a lot more.
Although I will see you again someday as just friends this will take some getting used to, it won't be the same as before.
It's good to know that there was no lieing, falling out and cheating.
Don't worry it's not a lot different than it was before after all, your secret is still safe with me, just the same as it was when we were together.
I need to write poetry to keep myself stable and help myself to move on.
I need to accept what you want.
I don't regret a single minute of the time we spend together.
I understand why it had to end but I wouldn't lie to say I would love to go back to where it was again. 30.10.2012
You turn on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
One minute your mind is rain then it shines.
I never know how long your mine,
If I take any more of your change of mind, I will blow the fuse and go out of my mind.
You change like the weather winter, summer and spring.
If the water catches wires it will pull out the fire.
If I let you carry on, I will blow a storm that will rise to fire, 30.10.2012
Winter is coming.
The winter is coming; the cold is coming without you.
Dark mornings and dark nights as the cold frost bites into the morning light.
The days are shorter and the nights are long without you.
Six months of winter go on forever after the clocks go back.
Time seems late than what it is because winter is so dark.
The cold is longer without you. 30.10.2012
Moving forward.
The door has closed but it's too cold yet for other doors to open.
It doesn't seem as if there are any more doors to open as I have walked through them all.
If there'any more doors to open they will open in the spring ready for the summer.
Walk into Autumn doors will close for winter.
The future is an unknown world. 30.10.2012
The stormy sea.
The boats are sinking as the tide goes in and out as people shout floating about.
Most people dream of living near the sea you see.
The sea can be a nightmare as well as a dream you see.
It's not all it cuts out to be you see.
Furniture damage, power cuts and electrically going on and off.
As the sea stops rushing it will calm down in time.
The boats will peacefully float.
The sunset will rise as it shines surfing, slipping and sliding. 30.10.2012
Washing machine.
It seems as if the world is a big wash out.
The washing machine seemed to be going on forever.
The timer was only set for 30 minutes, as it went on longer.
It stooped just before I went to the shops.
The door took ages to open as the water came out like a shower onto the floor.
I grabbed anything I could to soak up the water quick as I could.
Strangely when I saw the news the same day, the Americans were up to their necks of Super Storm Sandy.
The stormy sea causing damage to homes, power cuts, electrically going on and off.
Anything, everything and everyone in sight the storm will fright to fight. 30.10.2012
Don't think because I'm alone.
Only because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm free to love anyone for a long time.
As far your mind works, I'm not a free woman because you don't know I'm single.
I want to move forward not back in my life.
I don't need you to mess my head around anymore.
Now I'm staying away from you.
Don't think because I'm alone that I'm coming back into your life because I'm not.
I will make sure that you don't know whether I'm single or not.
I'm keeping away from you so you don't get your chance to love me to hurt me again.
Love, you don't even know what the word love means.
Maybe I am lonely but it's better than being with you to hurt me all over again like you have so many times before.
How many chances do you want?
If you think I am wasting the rest of my life on you, then the news is bad for you.
I'm not giving you any more chances for you to love me to hurt me again.
I find it hard to forgive and forget what you did to me.
Why should I forgive you at all?
I used to find it hard to stop loving now I find it hard to love again.
Why would I try to love you again after what you put me through?
Now I just have no trust in you yet once I believed in you so much.
I should never have gone back to you, I should have known better than giving you another chance.
may well now be single, which could be for a long time but not forever, I believe I will meet someone better than you one day.
The longer I am single the more he will be worth the wait as well as the date.
I don't want to love you for you to hurt me again.
You confused my mind and messed with my head with your silly mind games not knowing whether you wanted me or not.
I want someone who knows what and who he wants.
Now you have lost your chance to love me again.
You knew I used to love you so much that you played with the head.
After losing you it took a long time to get my life back together again.
Little did I realize that I was better off without you, how blind was I?
Every day I used to hope that you'd change but you just got worse.
Just because I'm alone it doesn't mean you can touch me because I feel nothing for you.
Nothing at all.
You may laugh now because I'm alone, it may be a long time but I'm more than willing to get back on my feet again so I won't be alone forever.
You don't break me anymore.
I have got my life back together before, I will do it again.
I feel nothing for you anymore.
You never loved me and cared for me as much as I did for you.
You didn't love me as much as I thought you did.
You didn't love me at all.
I can't believe I loved a man for 13 and a half years on and off who didn't love me.
Our relationship was based on you lying about your feelings towards me.
I was too blind to disbelieve you.
Time to move on.
It's time for me to stop turning up on your doorstep. 5.11.2012 -
18.11.2012
Why did you?
Why did you play with my mind?
Why did you make me cry?
You knew I told you I loved you that's why.
Now things have turned the other way round.
The only difference is that I mean what I say.
I don't feel the same towards you like I used to.
Your loss you never loved me when I did love you.
You only pretend to love me to keep me happy.
I can't believe I lived 13 and a half years with a lie.
Why should I care how you feel anymore because you never cared about my feelings when I had feelings for you. 9.12.12
Finding it hard to trust you.
I shouldn't have trusted you from the start.
I'm so glad I didn't marry you.
Even now I'm not sure whether or not you were cheating on me.
Even now it's hard to say whether or not you were unfaithful.
What makes me think this is that you were texting a lot in front of me and getting texts back.
You made me feel very stressed and very uncomfortable that's why I won't have you back.
I kept on thinking this was a bad dream.
I may be wrong in what I did think but the texts you sent and the texts you had back went on far too long because I loved you so much. 13.12.12
Scared of getting old and alone.
Maybe I shouldn't be scared of being old and alone.
Maybe I should be strong enough to take the not to love again.
Maybe the pain from others has made me stronger.
I must be weak to be scared to be old and alone.
Yet I'm ashamed to be weak. 23.12.12
Poetry, Anxiety, and depression.
It's poetry that helps me accept life as it is.
As long as I keep my mind busy.
As long as I live my life busy.
Like us all as long as I have something to look forward to I can cope with life.
I am down if I have nothing at all.
I can't fight Anxiety and depression without poetry.
I can't cope in life with nothing.
I get sad and angry if I sit all the time bored.
Helping others helps me along.
Poetry helps me let out my thoughts. 29.12.12
Without poetry.
Without poetry, life would be more painful than what it is.
Without poetry, I would look and feel silly for being down for no reason.
Poetry makes life as less as bad as what it is.
Poetry makes me see life different to what I'd be without poetry.
Without poetry I would never feel good about myself, I would be angerly about myself.
When seeing the good in yourself you see the good in others.
Life is what you make it in one way but not in another.
Each and every one of us I believe have something inside us.
We just cope with good and bad in life in different ways.
Most of us think thoughts too much, this where poetry comes in.
I'm a person who has a lot of thoughts which have for many years put into poetry.
Without poetry, I would have held too much back. 29.12.12
When I feel anger.
When I feel anger I don't want to live.
When I feel anger I feel stress and tense.
There are too many thoughts going through my head to a point I want to write poetry.
I need to stop myself from getting angry and depression mainly when it's for no reason but sometimes there are reasons.
I need to stop myself from doing and say things I regret. 29.12.12
The Mind.
This is unknown to think what we are going to think.
Unknown to why we think what we think when we think.
Most thoughts seem odd to others yet unknown why to the person who thinks those those thoughts.
Yet many thoughts seem odd to the person whose thought them in time to come.
Thoughts can be unknown like feelings can be unknown.
Some thoughts and feelings may last for life others may only last for a certein amount of time which either be short or long.
The thoughts we think can't please everyone.
What a boring world it would be if we were right and good all the time.
Not everyone is bad all the time even though a lot of us think we are. 29.12.12
1 comment:
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