Monday 17 December 2018

HE WAS ALL IN MY HEAD HE'S NOT REAL.

When we were lovers.


What a kind sweet gentleman he used to be.
Whatever has happened to us?
He was full of love, happiness and joy to be.
He used to be a lovely gentleman and boy.
He still has lovely brown eyes.
People think he has lost his mind.
People think he's gone blind.
Now that I have lost him, I am very wary who I find.
What if they don't replace the love I lost?
Where's the man's voice that made me laugh?
Where's his handsome face that made me smile?
Where's the touch of his arms?
Where's the touch of his charm?
Where's the man who walked me home in the dark and the rain.
Where's the man I'd dreamt about in my sleep without a doubt.

Where's the man who beauty me every time he looked at me. written 1997


My lover has gone forever.

My lover has gone forever, my history fellow.
I feel lonely without Tony Romany.
Is everything going very slowly?
Sadly enough I won't be able to love Tony Romany ever again.

Isn't he a dear fellow, feeling under the weather? written 1997.


I try to be romantic.


I try to be romantic, that's the way I want to be.
If it's not right for women to be romantic I won't be, I will only show my feelings out in poetry.
My feelings towards someone who means a lot to me yet I don't mean a lot to him anymore, he loves another woman.
He hurt me very badly.
I can't help the way I am I was born to be soft and romantic yet I can't help who I fall for either.
He may well rip my heart into a thousand pieces yet I love him like there's no other man on this earth.

Now I find it hard to stop writing poetry as my feelings are uncontrolled.

Believe me, that man was not as special as I made him out to be in this poem, I only thought he was. How blind was he not to understand how much I loved him but how blind was I to not understand that he did not really love me?
Then we may have just loved one another as much as we could. We were both blinds in our ways in our minds. written 1997.

If only I knew if you are right or wrong for me.


From the day I first met you I thought you were the right person for me.
You left me sad, lonely and blue.
You know it's true that even now I still love you but you don't feel the same way anymore.
I don't understand why I still love someone who has not got the time a day for me.
Sometimes I feel like locking myself away in my bedroom and never coming out but other times I feel lonely.
Live in the bedroom with a kettle, food, toilet but I need to cut down on my heavy drinking.
Not seeing the world again to get away from pain is how I feel.

I don't feel very strong at all, there doe not see to be an end to all this but there must be an end to pain somewhere and somehow.
Surely I can't keep on feeling depressed like this, there's got to be light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.
All I do is write romantic poetry about you; it shows how mad and crazy I am about you which make me mad and crazy when you don't feel the same about me.
How strange is that?
I feel ashamed to love someone who does not love me but my feelings have so much control over me.
There must be someone better out who loves me for me but I find it hard to believe that I will love him because foolishly my feelings are still with you.
Not seeing the world again to get away from pain is how I feel.
I just love the wrong man, what is it about love it just blinds you?
Now you have gone, I must move on I must carry on without you.
It's hard to do because I miss you so true.
Everywhere I stand I see lovers kissing and hugging every day.
They must think I have lost my way. Written 1997.

I wrote this poem to say I love you.


I wrote this poem to say I love you whatever you have put you have put me through.
I must be mad to have you back but I still love you, don't you dare hurt me again because you won't get another chance.
I thought I stopped loving at one point but that's too hard to do.
One day we looked into one another eyes but we have known one another too long to say no.


There's only so much I can take, if hurt me again I will break.
If you hurt me again you will be full of regrets because I can't keep giving chances when it suits you to love me again.
Think this through carefully because one day I could be with someone who sticks to his word, who does not mess around like you do.
If I meet this person it will be too late for you to change your mind.
I'd be sure about your feelings if I were you and stick to my word. written 2001

Tell me why you left me?

Tell me why you made me cry?
Tell me why you left me?
Did you just make one silly mistake?
I must be mad to take you back.
You must have known you hurt me really bad.
It will take me a while to get my trust back you again but my love is still there for you.
I wish I did not love you then I would worry in case you hurt me again but my love for you is far too strong to let go of you. written 2001


I love you but you hurt me so.
Every day for four years, it all seemed dull and dark.
I found it so hard to move on.
I cried my eyes out when you left me.
I remember the day you met me.
I hope you won't leave me, anyone, if you do I am out the door.
I won't ever come back anymore.
So don't give me a call.
I'll miss you again but I will have to stop myself from getting hurt.
I hope one day I will meet someone who loves me for me and doesn't hurt me. 2001 onwards.
Heat.
Please remain that old flame.
Please don't give me the main blame.
Now the cards have been laid on the table, our love has failed.2000


it is time to make up your mind to know whether to move on in my life or not.
It's time to make up my mind.
It's time to live my life to make up my time.
It's time to empty my mind.

I am yours and you are mine.
Now let's have a great time.
Time to go away; I will be back in a few days. 1997 - 2000




You will always find.
I think about you all the time.
You are always on my mind.
Every single time.

This along song
bong bong.

Our love is with us here forever my dear. 1997 -2000 onwards.


You were there; you'd gone; now you have come back.

We were far too young; we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and years were long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long; we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002


 never felt the same without you.
Walking around the town alone I’m so bored out my head.
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, and you broke my heart so much.

I told your Mum that I would have stopped coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
Your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let alone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going to be on and off until things go bang!
When you saw me, you had no interest in me what so ever.
When I walked out of your Mum's door I felt so small.
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, and it's only loving that has bought me back to you!
What goes around comes around; I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002



Stronger love.
I can trust that you won't hurt me again.

Our love is stronger whatever goes on.
I don't enjoy having epilepsy, it makes it hard for me to lead my life but I will manage somehow.
I don't let my condition put a hold on my life.
My condition may have bought us closer together but then I hope it does not slit us apart.
I don't want to lose you again.
At the end of the day, we always get on great.
You’re my best friend as well as my lover.
My darling let's work hard at this after we have both been through already.
We will get through the good and bad together.26.5.2002

I thought you had gone for good.
I thought about you all the time as tears came down my eyes.
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002

True love.
After all these years my love for you is far too strong to let go.
It's too hard getting used to being apart from you.
Now I have to get used to living without your love. 25.4.2002

To my lover and my best friend.

To love each other for one another.
We need to take things slowly.
To look at each other and know it's right. 25.4.2002



Love verse.
If only we could be happy together.
You keep blowing hot and cold on me.
To know that love is not a bed of roses.
If only we could find it easy to talk one another these days, we always used to. What has gone wrong?

To keep things private bet ween one another.
Talk about it if or and when you are ready to.
We always used to have very special bond together but we don't anymore.
Not to care what people say?
No one can take it away from you other than yourselves.
Not to let people's points of views get in your way. 25.4.2002

1 comment:

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