Monday, 17 December 2018

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Wem please sounds like Wembley. 

I have never written a poem, short story, novel or play on the train. 

I was traveling from Newtown Powys Wales in the mid to late 80s. 

My memory has been that many times through my life I caught the wrong well almost the wrong train. 

Once I nearly went to Wembley when I should have gone to Wem. 

The ticket collector said 

" Off to Wembley." 

"No, I'm off to Wem." 

He laughed but I was only 17 and scared. 

I was just in a world of my own still relieving on the rest of the world. 

"No worries, you can get off at Shrewsbury," he said 

" Who ordered the ticket?" he asked 

" My Tutor." I said 

I tried to work out what must have happened, I thought about it. 

A lot of people on the train stared at me as if I was mad as I started to laugh. 

Wem please sounds like Wembley. 

When got off the train to meet my Mother Shrewsbury, she said. 

" I've been waiting half an hour for you at Wem station. 

When I told her the reason her feelings were mixed with worrying about me and the funny side of Wem been mistaken for Wembley. 18.8.2011 

I will never again chase love. 


Love will have to come to me if ever again it's to be. 

I never looked for you, you found me. 

If it doesn't work out for us the next love will be very close friends you and me are or where. 

Who knows what the future will be. 

Take life day by day. 

Don't build one's hopes up: never say never. 

Wait and see. 18.8.2011 


Open up your mind. 

If you feel as if something should be said then say it. 

Don't be scared, don't be shy just open your mind. 

Some people feel as if they don't want to talk about a sad thing but they feel as they need to. 

Please give their own time when things are to talk that they want or and need to said mainly when it's sad things. 


Some things are hard to talk about but better off not talking about in a lot of people's minds. 19.8.2011

 Keep the mind busy.

Do nothing.
Boredom affects the mind.
Boredom makes you feel sad.
There's never any reason to do nothing.
Despite the country going down money wise, not everything costs in life, even though we don't enough to pay for what the country costs.
We must be thankful for what we have got.
I know some of us to have less than others but that's life.
One way or another we are all in the same boat.
Money helps but it's not all there is to life.
Life would be boring if it was all the same.
We would be too spoil and greedy if we all had our way.
There would be nothing left in the world then we'd be even sadder.
People who want everything all the time are boring and sad people.
People who want something for nothing need to get a life when there are people who loved to work but have good reasons not to.
Be happy for the good things accept the bad things.
Life is what you make it, only you can make bad into good.
If you wait you will get more. 26.4.2012 - 18.6.2012




 Guilt and regret.

 I just prepared myself for the worst.
 What I regret is you have to see and hear my row with him.
I didn't want to create a row, I know it wasn't nice but I felt I had to speak my mind, I had no other way of telling him.
As weeks would have gone on I would have felt even tenser been in his company, this wouldn't have been fair on you and anyone else so I thought I say what I was going to say and not come again.
As much as you and I may miss one another, I thought it was far better I stopped going there rather than things getting worse because of me not liking him.
Some people I can accept if I don't like them depending on what I don't like about them. 
He one of the very few people I can't stand sitting in the same room with, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to him.
To me he has such a dry sense of humor but sorry maybe it's just me. 
I understand that it's caused us to see even less of one another but I haven't given up on you and me.
I'm so glad that you haven't given up on you and me either.
 I will look forward to our time together whenever it will be.
 Even if I just see you around for a chat, however short or long amount of time is good enough for me.
It's not just all about me it's about how you feel too.
 Missing you may be painful but thinking about you is happiness.
 No matter what happens I'm here to stay, no matter how life is or will be or and maybe.
Even though I don't see a lot of you, loving feelings and thoughts inside me won't go away.

 Thank you for been there for me whenever you can.
 I hope you feel the same way about me too. 
 To prove how much I loved you, I will carry on accepting whatever life is.
 If I had stopped coming without telling you a reason, you may have thought I have gone off with another man.
I love you far too much to love anyone else.  16.5.2012 - 18.6.2012



Looking in the mirror, what do I see?

 When times are hard you seem to think they won't get easy but if you give it time some things will others won't.
 Not everything can be the same.
 You mustn't feel alone because you are not others go through not much different if not the same.
 No one can tell you other than you how you think and feel.
 They are so right you are so wrong but that's not always the case, there's a slim chance you could be right they could be wrong. 
 They know it all because they have all been there before.
 The truth is unknown, the whole world is blind.
The truth hurts when that's how you don't want to see your life but if you accept something else will turn out better than what you had in the first place.
  Feelings and thoughts are hard to control when you want something or someone.
No matter how wrong it may be you can't move until those feelings and thought have, the only way is to let go if you start seeing it that it isn't right, which the hardest.
It won't get better if it's not working.
 I never knew Keats was a poet.
 I had never heard of Keats before.
 I never knew his heart was broken just like mine but in a different time.
 I never knew he'd inspire me to be a poet. I was stronger than I thought. I coped with exams, stress, studying and depression.
 As a twenty-seven-year-old English student I walked along the college library.
 What did I see? All I I saw was Keats on a cover of a book looking how I felt at the time.
 I read his poetry of broken love, which inspired me because he faced near enough the same as me.

 I never knew he wrote about his feelings at that time.
 When I look at the picture of him it was as if I saw myself in the mirror.
 Until I read his work I had no idea that we had a poetry talent between us.
 I was totally unaware of what book I was picking up and what to except inside it.
 Both of us lived in different times.
 I never knew he shared the same subject as me, romance and broken romance.
 That's when I knew I wasn't alone. He died of a broken heart,
 I didn't but I once thought I was going to. If he hadn't of inspired me,
 I believe my talent would have been unknown.
Ode To A Nightingale' is my best poem by John Keats. 21.5.2012

 It was a dark time.

 Back in October 1996 - August 1997 I drank heavy.
 Every time I drank I thought my problems would go away.
 Problems were still there the next day.
 I thought my loneliness would be there day after day for the rest of my life. I felt as if life wasn't worth living. I couldn't see the wood through the trees.
 Near enough twelve months of sadness seemed like a lifetime for me.
One bright side of John Keats he inspired me to write. John Keats work was the first poetry I came across in 1997 at the age of 27. 21.5.2012



Wake up.
Wake up, life would be boring there was happiest every morning.
Good and bad things can happen without a warning.
Do not dream, wish and hear things that don't happen.
You can't have your own way everyday.
The truth is how it is whether you want to hear it or not. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012

Dyspraxia
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My moth is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old-fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I overspend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am more could with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexia.
In a poem, I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012

Wolverhampton City.
Either dead as a doornail or full of crime.
This city was once a  lovely town.
I still see it as a town, it's too small to be a town in my eyes.
Beggars picking nub ends off the streets and begging people for money.
This shows how Britain is getting weak.
Britain is too overcrowded, we are spending money we can't affront.
What has happened to Great Britain that's just Britain?
The council has wasted money on a bus station that doesn't get used because not all the buses go there.
Most of the buses are messed around the town or should I say city?
It's hard to say what will the future of Britain will be.
Today's children don't know what's right from wrong, which causes crime, how will their children learn right from wrong?
Too many prisons full up and too many people committing a crime.
Life should be the time for the crime.
There are computers, internet, iPod s, mobile phones and the world is not enough or is it too much?
Maybe there's too much greed in the world.
There were more smiles on faces when we were just playing snakes and ladders. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012

Moon Under Water.
Cheapest pub in Wolverhampton for food and drink.
More people yet very dead.
Maybe not having any music takes away the atmosphere.
I guess we get what we pay for.
Friday and Saturday nights busiest nights of all.
Young people talking loud, screaming and knocking the shots back, maybe I am showing my age.13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012

Time to keep strong.
It's not just about my feelings, it's about your feelings too.
If enough is enough just let me know, even though I think so much of you I will leave you alone.
You don't have to give reasons why when I can work them out for myself, no one is in the wrong.

Sorry for what I have done.
I speak my mind and I speak the truth.
However, you feel I need to know so if your feelings don't match with mine I can get on with my life.
If only I knew what is going through your mind.

Don't be scared to tell me it's not as if I haven't been there before.
Sorry if things didn't work out if they haven't at least we tried.
Maybe things didn't work out to what we hoped.
As hard as it is I had to be honest to you, I couldn't have lied to you.
All I know is that I miss you so much. 12.10.12


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